Coffee: Or How I Took a Sip and Became a Fatalistic Noir Hero in 3 Seconds

This morning, I drank a cup of coffee.  In earlier, more caffeine-addicted times, a “cup” was actually a mammoth mug that likely held closer to 2 cups.  You will probably drink a cup (or mammoth mug) of coffee at some point today yourself.  After all, the International Coffee Organization reports that “1.6 billion cups of coffee are drunk worldwide everyday.”

For me, a number like 1.6 billion really just means “a bajillion,” a lot!  On a chemical level, coffee provides caffeine, the ultimate drug to help one through the agony of leaving warm covers each morning.  Like pushing the turbo button in a race car, we can feel caffeine working in seconds.  It makes us feel better.  This character in Open Season understands coffee well:

The notion of “going to get a cup of coffee” entails more than downing a drink or just getting a surge of energy in the morning. If it was only about the substance, folks could brew value versions of coffee at home and save 7 dollars apiece.  Rather, getting coffee is social.  It's an experience.  We like our coffee to be good.  It could be a first date or a place for friends to get together.   Like the characters in the series “Twin Peaks,” coffee is both a social and personal experience (and perhaps spiritual in this case). 

When we were kids, my cousins and I viewed coffee as a “grownup’s drink,” something we watched the hardboiled action heroes sip before they dual-fired 9mms.  I still remember our granddaddy letting us drink heavily sugared up Styrofoam versions.  With our neon-green handguns (we spray-painted black, silver, or gold in one case to make a “Golden Gun”), we felt cool.  We didn't need the pick-me-up, we just wanted to be cool, and since it was a chilly day, we were super cool.    

Even now, decades later, I still mimic an FBI agent or the lone hero having morning java.  Coffee is not just coffee, it’s a story.  The story could be about friends or lovers, the exciting or mundane.  I don’t’ solve supernatural crimes or fire weapons on an average day. But I do drink coffee, and you probably do, too.

Want to get a cup of coffee? 

SPECIAL BONUS!  A scene from one of the weirdest video games of all time featuring coffee:

Share your own experiences with coffee in the comments section!